Monday, May 12, 2003
Dave applies for a research assistant position
(read from bottom)
Date: Tue, 08 Oct 2002 12:50:45 -0700
From: "Bill Burns"
To: "Dave Suthibut"
Subject: Re: not much
Dave,
You can start as soon as you can find a job, man.
We can't offer you a job because you don't appear to value either us or
yourself
enough to actually apply in a proper way. In addition to "not telling
us
anything about you," your approach "tells us everything we need to know
about
your suitability to the position." Sorry.
Dave Suthibut wrote:
> That's cool, man, I just need a job. When can I start?
>
> Dave
>
> --- Bill Burns
> > Dave,
> > The pay depends a good deal on how much
> > responsibility the person can handle.
> > The pay range would be mid thirties to low fifties.
> >
> > Dave Suthibut wrote:
> >
> > > yeah, saw the job on craigslist, how much??
> > >
> > > Dave
> > >
Posted at 10:42 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (6)
1. fucking hilarious!
yoni :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 12:37
2. Who is this fool who uses quote marks for emphasis? Fire them all.
John :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 12:51
3. To be fair, I don't think he was using quotation marks for emphasis. I believe he was trying to reflect the terms used by HR people.
Gerald :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 15:11
4. Oh. That makes all the difference in the world. Fire him.
foog :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 12:59
5. Like someone said above, these might be amusing if their responses were unjustly cold and cruel. But since Dave here brings this shit upon himself... I mean, where is the humour in that? You clearly have no idea as to how to go about applying for jobs.
this isnt any good :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 17:52
6. Au contraire, my humourless friend. Dave knows the game so well, he is able to break the rules to humourous effect(Admittedly, if you - or someone like you - are the one he is pillorying it may seem less funny, but thems the breaks). Anyway, brilliant. Keep up the good work Dave.
Sancho Panza :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 04:17
7. Hell, fire Mr. Humourless two comments above, while you're at it.
foog :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 05:59
8. I couldn't stop laughing. I can't believe how many employers have no fucking sense of humor. They have no idea how pretentious and ridiculous they look. Your sarcastic yet "sweet" job inquiries really hit the nail on the head about everything that's wrong with the corporate world today. These idiots actually believe you should lick their shoes and then THANK them for it. Let's face it. Most people work because they need the money, not because they are itching to do a lot of boring bullshit work for someone they would probably not give the time of day to should they meet in some other context. Keep up the good work--and the letters. I want more!
Susan :: Tue, 2003/07/08, 08:46
9. This is friggin' brilliant. This asshole Bill Burns is is real fucking choice material. Quote marks for emphasis? Im surprised this prick didn't refer to himself in the third person. Dave, this site is a fucking breath of fresh air in todays world. It exposes little and big companies for what they truly are..greed driven pigs with no care for people. These assholes who sit in an office in HR think that they are on a completly different level than the rest of us. The level is called the human race and these shitheads think they are god. Keep on fucking with them Dave!!
T-Man :: Tue, 2003/07/08, 19:27
Friday, May 09, 2003
Dave applies for a technical writer position
(read from bottom)
From: "Chrystal Randolph"
To: "'Dave Suthibut'"
Subject: RE: how much?
Date: Mon, 14 Oct 2002 16:07:58 -0700
Who are you? Until you submit your resume, I can not help you. Benefits
and
along with vacation time is discussed during the interview process, if
you
qualify. Please do not send any further correspondence to me. Send any
questions you may have to HR@j2.com.
Thank you
-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, October 14, 2002 4:02 PM
To: Chrystal Randolph
Subject: RE: how much?
Yeah, but how many vacation days do I get?
Dave
--- Chrystal Randolph
wrote:
> Thank you for your interest in j2 Global
> Communications, Inc. The Salary is
> clearly posted along with the requirements at
> www.craigslist.com. The
> Posting is Oct 9, 2002. Please review the posting
> then submit your resume.
>
>
> Good Luck,
>
>
> Chrystal Randolph
> Human Resource
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dave Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Monday, October 14, 2002 3:02 PM
> To: HR@j2.com
> Subject: how much?
>
>
> Hey, saw the job listing for a tech writer on
> craigslist.com. Wondering how much $$$$ does it pay,
> and how much vacation. I'm interested in the job, so
> if you could get back to me asap that would be
> great.
>
> Thanks
> Dave
Posted at 16:50 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
1. Hi there! Just wanted to say, great site! Those companies / HR people are finally getting a taste of thier own medicine! Keep up the good work!
Lisa :: Sun, 2003/07/06, 10:34
2. Getting thier own medicine? Seems to me that the only one required to take a dose is the ever unemployable Dave - he of the non humerous prank. Come on who does he think he's kidding. Okay so the job market is shit, but is he really bettering his prospects by taking the proverbial out of prospective employers. Next point, if I was applying for a position as a technical writer, I think I might have a look at the way I write things. The E-mail above would'nt inspire any confidence in me if I were the said employer.
Craig :: Wed, 2003/07/09, 07:22
3. Well, like lots of others, I really don't see the humour here. Dave isn't writing a "serious" application letter and getting back rude or funny replies. He's deliberately pissing the guys off from the start. I suppose its mildly amusing in that they write back at all but that's it.
Lesley :: Fri, 2003/07/11, 04:53
4. TOO funny,
It's clearly obvious that you don't really want a real job, but that's not coming through to the prospective employers. What a bunch of maroons. Dude, your self- employment material if I ever saw it. This is exactly the way that a self employed entrepreneur like myself carries himself. Yeah, I used to work for the man and then one day, woke up. Put your creative energy into yourself and quit being so charmingly bitter. You've got the wit determination and warmth to go it alone and besides people like you! Try sales, I'd hire you.
Richard Rickley :: Fri, 2003/07/11, 08:58
5. I'm impressed he actually get replies. I send out resumes and well-written cover letters four or five times a week and NOT ONCE YET have the motherfuckers written me back. (My experience in my field is quite good and I have a diverse background, so that isn't it). Maybe I should try Dave's tactic???
SuperWoman :: Fri, 2003/07/11, 16:28
6. If you don't see the humor, you don't get it.
It is not clearly obvious that he does not want a job. He is asking a simple, straightforward question, looking for information that was not in the listing. That is all. The fact that these employers are passing judgement on him based on asking that question alone is insane.
I don't think his point is that he's only interested in the money and perks. Rather its that they didn't specify that information in the ad, and based on the listing which he alleges to be both interested and qualified, he is following up to determine if the money is right, too, before he spends his own valuable time preparing a resume and cover letter (which are of value to the potential employer, not to him). If he were to instead send in an application, then spend a day or more in interviews, then ultimately find out its not paying enough money, then that employer has wasted a great deal of his time.
So in fact, its not so much funny, as it is sad.
brianosaurus :: Sat, 2003/07/12, 17:25
Dave applies for a marketing position for an 'adult entertainment' company
>From: Dave Suthibut
>Subject: How much?
>To: jobs@darksideproductions.net
>MIME-Version: 1.0
>Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
>Content-Length: 993
>
>Yeah, saw the Writer/Reporter/Marketing/Sales/etc. job
>you listed recently over at Craigslist. I'm the man
>for the job, but first couple questions. I saw a whole
>big laundry list of required skills and
>qualifications, but didn't see anything about $$$.
>Also didn't see anything about other benefits and
>perks, such as vacation days. So my questions for you
>are: how much $$$, and how many vacation days do I
>get?
>
>Reason I ask is because I have been planning a 5-week
>trip through the Serengeti Desert in January of next
>year, and I need to find a job that would be willing
>to accomodate that admittedly unusual request at an
>early stage in my employment. Again, I'm highly
>qualified, have experience in the erotic industry
>(client-side, not server side), and am interested in
>the job. If you could get back to me ASAP with that
>info, that would be great.
>
>Dave
Posted at 16:49 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
1. HAH Even a straight up Ve'vet Jones pimp will tell you what you cut is.
Harry Bolz :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 17:23
2. HAH Even a straight up Ve'vet Jones pimp will tell you what you cut is.
Harry Bolz :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 17:23
3. Great site, lol. I've worked in probably 20 jobs theses 23 yrs. and have been screwed without a kiss in many of them..."at will" employment law is especially heinous...the employer gets ALL the rights, plus they get to poke and prod you until they know everything about you, yet you, as a potential employee get virtually no useful info on THEM. Plus, they can fire you within an eval period for (and I quote the law):
"A good reason, a bad reason, or no reason AT ALL". I'm not a labor-union lover, but ya know what? Had I the means, I'd put up a website of all the hospitals where I've ever worked and rate them for potential employees. Do you think I'd be sued for slander? Just need to get the legal stuff clear first prior to doing something like that.
jae :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 08:46
4. I don't think you could be sued as long as you didn't make any personal comments, use hard copies of things, like E-Mail with full headers or employment termination forms. The best way to get back at an employer is to let people decide for themselves, not to feed them opinion. Dialogue about this is welcome at my E-Mail.
CBiluk :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 09:46
5. FYI The Serengeti is not a Desert.
chip :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 07:00
6. It's a plain in Africa, did you fail geography as well as english at school.
The more of this I read the more I come to realise, it's not your approach that sucks, its your IQ.
Craig :: Wed, 2003/07/09, 07:27
7. client-side. (snicker) i'm a senior-level pr0n power-user. know all the left-hand shortcuts.
sa1nt :: Wed, 2003/07/09, 12:37
Dave applies for a news reporter job
(read from bottom)
From: "Barbara Backer"
To: "'Dave Suthibut'"
Subject: RE: HOW MUCH
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 2002 14:49:11 -0700
As per requested, please mail resume and clips to Reporter Position,
Independent Newspaper Group, 1828 El Camino Real Ste. 508, Burlingame,
CA
94010.
-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, October 22, 2002 1:13 PM
To: Barbara Backer
Subject: RE: HOW MUCH
COOL, THANKS FOR THE INFO. I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE JOB.
WHEN CAN I COME IN TO MEET?
DAVE
--- Barbara Backer
> Actually that's 8 holidays. Vacation does not start
> until 6 months after
> employment begins, but amounts to 2 weeks per year.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dave Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Tuesday, October 22, 2002 12:13 PM
> To: Barbara Backer
> Subject: HOW MUCH
>
>
> HEY, SAW THE AD ON CRAIGSLIST FOR A REPORTER, I'M
> THE
> MAN FOR THE JOB, BUT FIRST, COUPLE QUESTIONS: HOW
> MUCH
> DOES IT PAY, AND HOW MANY VACATION DAYS DO I GET. IF
> YOU COULD GET BACK TO ME ASAP THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
>
> DAVE
Posted at 16:45 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
1. Hilarious. I've definitely applied for one of these, and it's not worth the effort.
John G :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 13:05
Dave applies for a senior marketing writer job
(read from bottom)
> >From: "Mayer, David"
> >To: "'Dave Suthibut'"
> >Subject: RE: How much?
> >Date: Wed, 13 Nov 2002 16:07:59 -0800
> >Return-Receipt-To: "Mayer, David"
> >
> >If you are interested, send us a resume and let me review it and we'll
> go
> >from there.
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> >Sent: Wednesday, November 13, 2002 4:05 PM
> >To: Mayer, David
> >Subject: RE: How much?
> >
> >
> >Hi David,
> >
> >That's cool, thanks for the info about the vacation
> >time. As for the salary info, I guess I'll interpret
> >your continued coyness as evidence that you're unable
> >to disclose this info, for whatever reason.
> >
> >As I said before, I'm experienced and interested in
> >the job. So the ball's in your court, buddy. When can
> >I come in for an interview?
> >
> >Dave
> >
> >
> >--- "Mayer, David" wrote:
> > > Dave,
> > >
> > > Let's try it one more time. The salary is just what
> > > I said and within a
> > > particular range. The vacation is based on years of
> > > service at the company
> > > and you start with 16 days per year which is based
> > > on a combination of
> > > vacation and sick benefits. Hope that does it for
> > > you.
> > >
> > > David
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Dave Suthibut
> > > [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> > > Sent: Wednesday, November 13, 2002 3:27 PM
> > > To: Mayer, David
> > > Subject: RE: How much?
> > >
> > >
> > > Hi David,
> > >
> > > With all due respect, that is a pretty weak answer.
> > > Can you at least give me a ballpark figure for both
> > > salary and vacation days?
> > >
> > > Dave
> > >
> > >
> > > --- "Mayer, David" wrote:
> > > > Hi Dave,
> > > >
> > > > The salary really depends on what the candidate
> > > > brings to the party so to
> > > > say and the vacation days are in accordance with
> > > > company policy.
> > > >
> > > > David
> > > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: Dave Suthibut
> > > > [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> > > > Sent: Wednesday, November 13, 2002 3:17 PM
> > > > To: dmayer@larscom.com
> > > > Subject: How much?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Hi, saw the ad for a senior marketing writer on
> > > > craigslist, but before I apply, I have a couple
> > > > questions. I saw a whole big list of required
> > > skills
> > > > and experience, but nothing about salary. So I'm
> > > > wondering: How much does the job pay, and how many
> > > > vacation days?
> > > >
> > > > If you could get back to me with that info ASAP,
> > > > that
> > > > would be great.
> > > >
> > > > Dave
Posted at 16:37 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
Dave applies for an NBX tech job
(read from bottom)
Date: Tue, 19 Nov 2002 20:03:53 -0800
To: "Dave Suthibut"
From: "Brian Young"
Subject: Re: NBX Tech job
Dearest Dave --
Unless you wish to stay unemployed for the rest of your life, here are several suggestions;
1. Never initiate contact with a potential employer by asking how many vacation days, perks and $$$ you'll get.
2. Never critique the posting you're responding to - even if, in your considered opinion, it seems 'overly coy'.
3. A single request that you are certified on the equipment specifically relating to the job does not constitute a 'big old list' of requirements.
Good luck in your future endeavors. You're gonna need it.
-------
At 12:38 PM 11/19/2002 -0800, you wrote:
Hey, saw the NBX Tech job on craigslist, and it piqued
my interest. However, couple questions: I saw a big
old list of requirements and experience, but nothing
about $$$. Also didn't see anything about vacation
days and other perqs -- just the standard (and in my
opinion, overly coy) "competitive compensation"-type
description. So, I'm wondering: How much does the job
pay, and how many vacation days do I get?
If you could get back to me ASAP with that info, we'll
take it from there.
Dave
Posted at 16:07 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
1. You are an idiot.
kk :: Thu, 2003/09/11, 18:18
2. kk,
He's not an idiot, imho. Even though he is initiating a correspondence in a provocative tone, he elicits responses (in most instances) which reflect the outright arrogance of the ad posters. Some of the posters respond in a cordial fashion, but most pull out the samurai swords (as if they're aching to).
Like other job seekers in our position, I never even get a response, due likely to my being up-front and honest about my abilities, and my potential in the prospective job. Dave, on the other hand, gets responses, which indicates to me that (in most cases) the posters are vindictive individuals (and for the life of me, I have no idea why they're even posting jobs).
Mikey :: Sat, 2004/08/14, 20:05
Dave applies for a PR internship
(read from bottom)
Dear Dave,
I hate sarcasm so I'll be straightforward. We don't give any vacation
days
to interns and we are not interested in hiring people who only request
about
perks, pay and vacation.
And we'll go from there.
Cedric Vanhaver
PR@vantage
Account Executive
(415) 908-0444 x109
www.pr-vantage.com
-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 12:11 PM
To: cvanhaver@pr-vantage.com
Subject: High PR internship
How much does it pay, and how many vacation days? Also
need to know if there are any other perks I should be
aware of. If you could get back to me ASAP with that
info, we'll go from there.
Dave
Posted at 15:58 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
1. "... who only request about pay" LMAO
drakorg :: Sun, 2004/07/18, 12:56
Dave applies for a teaching job
(read from bottom)
From: "Illana Weisman"
To: "'Dave Suthibut'"
Subject: RE: How much
Date: Fri, 9 May 2003 12:01:26 -0700
Dave,
As I tried to explain, we do not know what we need to pay for this
position.
We will find out by going through this process. We are interested in
getting
a qualified instructor for a fair price. In today's environment, our
clients
expect us to control costs. I expect the hourly rate to be some where
between $45-$85 per hour, but I could be wrong.
Illana
-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, May 09, 2003 11:54 AM
To: Illana Weisman
Subject: RE: How much
Illana, I appreciate the info, but with all due
respect, we should stop wasting each other's time and
get to the point. I'm really not interested in stating
a desired salary range because I feel it might lead to
me getting less $$$ than I'm worth. Which is why I
instead asked you for this info.
All I'm asking for is a $$$ range - please please
please?
Dave
--- Illana Weisman
wrote:
> Please submit your resume and your hourly
> expectation, which can be a range.
>
> Illana
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dave Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Friday, May 09, 2003 11:46 AM
> To: Illana Weisman
> Subject: RE: How much
>
>
> Hmmm... can you give me a $$$ range? Want to make
> sure
> the $$$ is right for me.
>
> Dave
>
>
> --- Illana Weisman
> wrote:
> > We will pay whatever the going market rate appears
> > to be, which we will
> > determine by talking to qualified candidates.
> >
> > Illana Weisman
> > Administrator
> > AIM Computer Training, Inc.
> > www.aimtrain.com
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Dave Suthibut
> > [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> > Sent: Friday, May 09, 2003 11:33 AM
> > To: illana@aimtrain.com
> > Subject: How much
> >
> >
> > Hey, saw the ad today on craigslist, how much $$$
> > does
> > it pay? Sounds like a cool job, peaked my
> > interest...
> >
> > Dave
> >
Posted at 14:20 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (0)
1. LOL!
I'd keep a list of these assholes - when the economy turns, as it surely will, they're likely to call back!!! Please let me know when that phase of the abuse starts - also, please post the emails of these jerks!! I have friends in SF I'd like to warn off of them.
YOU GO.
macguiguru :: Tue, 2003/07/01, 22:40
2. It's "piqued" my interest.
Adam :: Wed, 2003/07/09, 14:09
3. Oops! I see you changed it later. Sorry!
Adam :: Wed, 2003/07/09, 14:14