Verbal Attack: The emails of the Suthibut family

Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Dave applies for a Marketing Research Supervisor job
(read from bottom)

From: "Craig Rose" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
To: "'Dave Suthibut'"
Subject: RE: Marketing research supervisor
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2003 15:24:56 -0700

Dave,

Your questions were clear, apologies for my incomplete response. In the
interest in confirming receipt of the many resumes and emails, we sent
out a
"form letter" email.

If you wish to be considered for the position, we'd need more
information
from you, i.e., a resume/job history and what you feel might qualify
you for
the job. The questions you asked (concerning salary, etc.) would only
be
answered as part of the interview process. If we felt you might meet
our
needs, we would call you and begin that process.

If you have any questions, let me know.

Craig Rose
Project Manager

-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Tuesday, July 29, 2003 1:46 PM
To: Craig Rose
Subject: RE: Marketing research supervisor

Hey Craig,

Thanks for getting back to me. However, it appears
that you might not have read my email as carefully as
I would have liked you to. I specifically asked how
much $$$ the job pays, and how many vacation days. And
also is there any kind of background or drug test. I
apologize if I didn't make this clear in my earlier
email.

I'd appreciate answers to these questions ASAP.

Dave

--- Craig Rose wrote:
> Thank you for your interest in the job we recently
> posted on craigslist.org.
>
> We are in the process of reviewing all the
> applicants we have heard from. We
> will be in touch in a few days if we feel you might
> fit our needs.
> Otherwise, we do keep applications/resumes on file
> for 30 days.
>
> Craig Rose
> Project Manager
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dave Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 3:13 PM
> To: rebecca@ffrsf.com
> Subject: Marketing research supervisor
>
>
> Hey, what's up? Saw the job listing on craigslist ()
> and it really peaked my interest. I've got some
> phone
> room experience, but my main attributes are
> enthusiasm, motivation, blah blah blah - all that
> good
> stuff.
>
> I'm definitely interested, but would, of course,
> need
> to know more about monetary compensation (how much
> $$$) and any other perks. Also would need to know if
> there's a drug/background test.
>
> If you could hit me back with that info ASAP, we'll
> go
> from there.
>
> Cheers
> Dave

Posted at 16:23 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (7374)

Comments: Add Comment

1. you and oddtodd are my hero.
ztepfinat0r :: Wed, 2003/07/30, 14:58

2. heroes plural. i kant speL
ztepfinat0r :: Wed, 2003/07/30, 15:01

3. Dave, we were just re-visiting your side splitting site. You're my hero :)
tanya b :: Fri, 2003/09/19, 21:52

4. Hey Dave, gabe from fuckthatjob.com - oh look, there's my girlfriend tanya. What the hell are you doing on Dave's site? Damn strumpet.

Anyway, we just gave you some props over at ftj, go feel the warm glow.

Cheers,

-G

PS - more posts on your site, please!
gabe e :: Fri, 2003/09/19, 22:21

5. Dave, you are one pathetic loser! I guess not being able to find a job has left you with a lot of time on your hands
e :: Mon, 2003/09/22, 17:52

6. Dave, you should fabricate a 'perfect' resume ( you know MIT summa cum laude etc... ) but use the same attitude. I guarantee they will be sucking your dick in no time.
z00ie :: Thu, 2004/03/04, 08:22

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Mike :: Sun, 2004/07/18, 07:23

9. I just finished reading your site and I must say I'm actually surprised that these employers even responded back to you...lol...people who actually write serious cover letters and send resumes in never get this much of a response as you have with your "getting back at the man" tactics. I must say I love it.
cielito :: Thu, 2004/10/21, 13:36

11. it not very nice calling your girlfriend a strumpet

_______________
<a href="http://www.axiossystems.com/">ITIL </a> Consultant
tracie :: Thu, 2005/03/31, 05:10

12. Dave, you rock. Check out www.ALABEL.net. I think you'll think it's funny.
kaitlyn :: Sat, 2005/07/09, 18:40

Thursday, July 17, 2003
Roger applies for an HR benefits assistant position
From: "Marina Aviles" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
To: "Roger Suthibut"
Subject: RE: [PMX:##] RE: [PMX:#] Benefits specialist
Date: Thu, 17 Jul 2003 15:23:01 -0700

Roger,

Want to clarify that this position is for a Benefits Asst not
Specialist.
We do a background check, which of course you need to sign the release.
This is done if we call you in for an interview. Before we offer you
the job
and should we extend an offer of employment, we send you to do a drug
test
on your first day. In the offer letter we include a clause that states
your
employment is contingent upon the results of the drug test. Hope this
is
helpful.

Marina Aviles

-----Original Message-----
From: Roger Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 17, 2003 2:38 PM
To: Marina Aviles
Subject: [PMX:##] RE: [PMX:#] Benefits specialist

Hey Marina,

Thanks a lot for getting back to me. I forgot to ask
whether there is any kind of background or drug test
that I would need to take as a condition of my
employment. Not that I have anything to hide, but it's
something I need to know before I apply.

Thanks in advance
Roger

--- Marina Aviles wrote:
> Roger,
>
> $18/hr. with benefits. Thanks for your interest in
> Swinerton I am looking
> forward to reviewing your resume.
>
> Thank you,
>
> Marina
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Roger Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Thursday, July 17, 2003 12:08 PM
> To: maviles@swinerton.com
> Subject: [PMX:#] Benefits specialist
>
> Hey, saw the job on craigslist, and it really peaked
> my interest. I've got 3 years of experience in the
> industry, am motivated, enthusiastic, blah blah
> blah.
> Most of all, I think I'd be a good fit with your
> company. Would need to know a bit more about $$$
> though before I apply. If you could hit me back ASAP
> with that info, we'll take it from there.
>
> Thanks
> Roger

Posted at 16:05 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (7374)

Comments: Add Comment

1. I like the site. I've always thought it was terrible how the employer has every single bit of power in what should be a mutually beneficial relationship. It's nice to see somebody treat them how they treat potential job seekers.

I'm just wondering how you get replies from these people. No matter how much I suck up, no matter how many times I say, "I look forward to hearing from you," I never once get a reply from these people, not even just, "Thank you for your interest." Maybe I should start being rude like you, maybe then I'd actually get somebody to notice me...
HeartBurn Kid :: Tue, 2003/07/22, 10:14

2. I have to say, while I enjoy seeing the exchanges you must realize that it's utterly unproductive to your goal of becoming employed.

In a seller's market, with buyers queueing up and offering over asking price for houses, you simply don't have the upper hand. Same thing in the current job market. It sucks, but it's the way it is. And always has been.

These recruiters get tons of email and resumes, so a wise ass like you is just an annoyance that they will blow off unceremoniously. I don't think you are "exposing" anything but your own lack of people skills.
fullcity :: Wed, 2003/07/23, 05:28

3. Hey Fullcity,

Thanks for the advice dawg - I had a feeling I was doing something wrong! I mean, all these emails sent out for jobs, and so few responses. And the attitudes these employers displayed was, well, less than cordial. Perhaps I should adjust my own job searching style to sound like everyone else's. After all, they say that conformity is the key to eternal bliss! Thanks again for setting me straight.

Dave Suthibut
Dave Suthibut :: Wed, 2003/07/23, 14:25

4. It's "piqued" my interest, not "peaked" my interest.
Jeremy :: Wed, 2003/08/20, 13:43

5. Jeremy, I see you've appreciated the subtle humor of the site... bravo mate
Rose :: Fri, 2003/08/22, 14:40

Thursday, July 10, 2003
Dave seeks quick riches in the Nigerian email scam
(read from bottom)

>Dave Suthibut ,digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com> wrote:

>Hey man, sounds great. I'm definitely interested in
>making an investment. You sound like a really reputable guy too.
>However, couple questions for you: How much $$$, and where do I send it.
>And when do I get the $$$ back. Also are
>there any other perks I should be aware of. If you
>could get back to me ASAP with that info, we'll take
>it from there.

Dave

--- lawrence obi wrote:
> Dear Friend,
>
> I am LAWRENCE OBI , Bank Manager of Zenith
> Bank,Lagos, Nigeria.I have urgent and very
> confidential business proposition for you.
>
> On June 6, 1997, a Foreign Oil consultant/contractor
> with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation,
> Mr.Barry Kelly made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit
> for twelve calendar months, valued at
> US$26,500,000.00,
> (Twenty-six Million, five hundred thousand Dollars)
> in my branch.
>
> Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his
> forwarding address but got no reply. After a
> month,we sent a reminder and finally we discovered
> from his contract employers, the Nigerian National
> Petroleum
> Corporation that Mr. Barry Kelly died from an
> automobile accident.On further investigation, I
> found out that he died without making a WILL, and
> all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless.
>
> I therefore made further investigation and
> discovered that Mr. Barry Kelly did not declare any
> kin or relations in all his official
> documents,including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my
> Bank. This sum of US$26,500,000.00 has carefully
> been moved out of my bank to a security company for
> safekeeping.
>
> No one will ever come forward to claim it. According
> to Nigerian Law,at the expiration of 5 (five) years,
> the money will revert to the ownership of the
> Nigerian Government if nobody applies to claim the
> fund.
>
> Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as
> an Foreigner to stand in as the owner of the money I
> deposited it in a security company in two trunk
> boxes though the security company does not know the
> contents
> of the boxes as I tagged them to be photographic
> materials for export.
>
> I am writing you because I as a public servant
> (Manager with the bank),i cannot operate a foreign
> account or have an account that is more than $1m.
>
> I want to present you as the owner of the boxes in
> the security company so you can be able to claim
> them with the help of my attorney. This is simple.
> I will like you to provide immediately your full
> names and address so that the Attorney will prepare
> the necessary documents which will put you in place
> as the as the owner of the boxes.
>
> The money will be moved out for us to share in the
> ratio of 70% for me and 30% for you. There is no
> risk at all as all the paperwork for this
> transaction will be done by the Attorney and this
> will guarantees the successful execution of this
> transaction.
>
> If you are interested, please reply immediately via
> my email address Upon your response, I shall then
> provide
> you with more details and relevant documents that
> will help you understand the transaction.
>
> Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest
> assured that this transaction would be most
> profitable for both of us because I shall require
> your assistance to invest my share in your
> country.(Buying of properties like houses, hotels
> etc)
>
> Please do send me your private/mobile telephone fax
> number so that we can have a smooth communication.
> Awaiting your urgent reply via my email.
>
> Thanks and regards.
>
> LAWRENCE OBI
> Bank Manager,
> Zenith Bank International Plc.

Posted at 10:26 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (7316)

Comments: Add Comment

1. We've all seen this e-mail before, so it isn't anything new. If I got an e-mail like that, I'd just delete it.
Joe :: Thu, 2003/07/10, 11:31

2. Um, I think the point is that he uses the same response to different situations... all about the $$$
June :: Thu, 2003/07/10, 13:21

3. You have got to be kidding me. I found your blog from fuckthatjob.com, and wish I could take back the twenty minutes I spent reading your site. It is completely barren of wit and the strenuous activity of moving the sidebar up and down to read the original letter, then the responses, and then finally the comments, is so strenuous that the frustration far outweighs the payoff in comedy. I would suggest reorganizing the incidents in a more linear fashion, and to write to the employers with more than just "I want vacations and perks."
angry reader :: Wed, 2003/07/16, 06:47

4. Hey angry reader,

Sorry about those lost 20 minutes bro! Good luck with getting that stick removed -- you know, the one that's firmly wedged up your uptight ass!

Dave
Dave Suthibut :: Wed, 2003/07/16, 10:09

5. Haha, your blog's real phunny. Found it with a net search for that Zenith Bank email, cause I got it today, along with instant messages trying to scam me.
A. :: Thu, 2003/07/24, 09:54

6. DUDE!! You stripped out the email address. I collect those and forword them to each other and use them for the reply address in the "Penis Spam" that shows up all the time. They stopped emailing me and I ran out of addresses and now I need another fix. :P

Hasta...
Palomr Jack :: Mon, 2003/12/01, 00:22

7. Palomar Jack, that's really funny, cross-wiring the spammers with the spermers -- brilliant!
Mikey :: Sat, 2004/08/14, 19:50

Wednesday, July 02, 2003
Dave applies for a high PR internship
(read from bottom)

From: "Cedric Vanhaver" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
To: "'Dave Suthibut'"
Subject: RE: High PR internship
Date: Mon, 5 May 2003 11:27:19 -0700

Dear Dave,

I hate sarcasm so I'll be straightforward. We don't give any vacation
days
to interns and we are not interested in hiring people who only request
about
perks, pay and vacation.

And we'll go from there.

Cedric Vanhaver
PR@vantage
Account Executive
(415) 908-0444 x109
www.pr-vantage.com

-----Original Message-----
From: Dave Suthibut [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 12:11 PM
To: cvanhaver@pr-vantage.com
Subject: High PR internship

How much does it pay, and how many vacation days? Also
need to know if there are any other perks I should be
aware of. If you could get back to me ASAP with that
info, we'll go from there.

Dave

Posted at 12:51 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (7326)

Comments: Add Comment

1. This site - is classic. Thank you for being the vent of my rage. You have inspired me.

-J
http://this.mp3.new.net

Jeremiah :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 14:26

2. hey man, this is great.... i've also been doing some of these types of job inquiries but never thought of posting the responses on the web. i've found that using words like "man","woman","buddy","baby","chucko","chauncy", and "hotrod" stirs much higher emotions in the responses i receive.
Mike :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 15:32

3. funny, funny stuff. you made my day.
Ned Christy :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 17:25

4. i seem to be missing the point here. are these serious enquiries you have sent? are you testing the potential employers or deliberately trying to alienate them? or is this how people really are applying for jobs and then complaining about the results? signed me...baffled.
carol :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 19:30

5. being English, I can only read in disbelief at how shitty American employers are. true, we wouldn't be able to get away with your cunning sarcasm, but over there (points to America), they all a bit too far up themselves.
David :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 01:50

6. I wish I could get away with it. I hope you haven't been using your real name on these, because "Dave Suthibut" is now surely blacklisted by employers all over the English-speaking world and you'll be lucky if you can get a job flipping burgers.
Nobody U. Know :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 10:58

7. Well, shucks: how dare you ask about vacation and perks for an intern position! Didn't you know that you're supposed to suck it up, suck off the boss, and pray that you'll get hired full-time after working for free for the next three to six months? Well, besides having the nerve to look surprised when the boss breaks every verbal agreement he made with you, tells you to take a hike, and gives the job to his son/daughter/frat brother's unemployable brat/new girlfriend with a $10 raise over what he promised you. You're damn lucky he bothered to read your resume in the first place: after all, reading it cut into his golf schedule...
Paul :: Sun, 2003/07/06, 16:40

8. if this is for real i hope others follow suit. keep it up, this is fantastic.
n.e. :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 10:21

9. Wunnerfull! And I should apologize for calling you a pussy earlier - not just because you started including email addresses, but because I didn't catch your announcement on fuckthatjob.com announcing that you were going to start including the email addresses of all these wonderful - truely wonderful - examples of the human race.

The real horror is that they will continue to breed.

Here's hoping for the day when cannibalism becomes legal and fashionable, because it seems like there's plenty of tasty HR folk ready to sizzle on the fast-food fryer. Mmmmm. HR folk.

Michael Moore - eat your heart out!
mgabrys :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 11:44

10. There are bigger whackjobs out there. I remember reading a whole book of letters a guy wrote to hotels about whether he can bring his pigs, or massive ottoman, or mirrors to the hotel during his stay. Essentially you're following your anger, aspiring to be a wackjob... but you have more distance to travel.

I have good relationships with three or four recruiters. I understand these to be business relationships for both parties. I have, in the past and probably the future, pushed the limits of what's acceptable in business relationships. But all and all I understand them to be not very flexable, and built out of some basic principles and not much else. People who know the principles usually get along with me. People who just know a bunch of rules annoy me.

I've been through so many interviews that I am getting frustrated. But none of it is an employer's fault. It's just life these days. It's a market like any other. About salary/wage: Sure I inquire. Vacation? Typically I don't inquire about that up front. The whole concept of vacation implies you have something to give. Or rather that you Have Given something. Why would it be a first question? Currently I have Permanent Vacation. It's as if you want to live in another time, or harken back to it. When in fact we have a market economy which oscillates between upper-hand and screw-job. Recruiters are doing what they've always done: considering the best applicants, and choosing. Seems straightforward. Seems timeless somehow.
John :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 15:39

11. Don't just stop at pay rate and vacation days but ask about stock options - remember those? Remeber how important it was to have them? It made you feel like you truly had skin in the game and all the executives were so supportive of all your insights, opinions and suggestions as to how better the bottom line.....gag.
chris :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 22:11

12. Oh man, Dave, thank you so much for this. I'm currently looking for a job --- any job, this point--- in The City, and am being treated like shit from just about every person in every company I encounter. Snobby bitches, arrogant pricks in the "hiring team" and generally requirements that go from "please look extremely professional but also must be able to lift 50pounds".
I hate them all. Oh boy.
Nina :: Tue, 2003/07/08, 11:47

13. Dave, they are probably going to catch up to you in Google searches, I would suggest using aliases.
Stephen VanDyke :: Tue, 2003/07/08, 13:34

14. some other things you might consider asking:

Do I get my own office?
What time do I have to come into the office?
How long are lunch breaks?
Does the company make provisions for the handicapped?
Ask for your own personal parking spot next to the door.
Stephen VanDyke :: Tue, 2003/07/08, 13:39

Tuesday, July 01, 2003
Dave applies for a sales job
(read from bottom)

Date: Tue, 1 Jul 2003 11:02:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Dave Suthibut" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: RE: Sales job - how much
To: Wbillings@apexsystemsinc.com

Hi Wynne,

Thanks for getting back to me. Actually, if you read
my email, I said that I did, in fact, read through the
ad, but was unable to find several pertinent pieces of
info. Which is why I wrote to you. I really don't have
time to play games with salary history, etc. And I'm
sure that you're not into games either. So I'm asking
you, straight up, how much the job pays and how many
vacation days. Absent that info, it's going to be
tough for me to craft application materials that will
best reflect my suitability for this job. Thanks in
advance for your help.

Dave

--- Wynne Billings
wrote:
> You may want to take a closer look at that job
> description for the
> information you requested.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dave Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 5:53 PM
> To: wbillings@apexsystemsinc.com
> Subject: Sales job - how much
>
>
> Hey, saw the job on craigslist, and it piqued
> my interest. However, couple questions: I saw a big
> old list of requirements and experience, but nothing
> about $$$. Also didn't see anything about vacation
> days and other perqs -- just the standard (and in my
> opinion, overly coy) "competitive compensation"-type
> description. So, I'm wondering: How much does the
> job
> pay, and how many vacation days do I get?
>
> If you could get back to me ASAP with that info,
> we'll
> take it from there.
>
> Dave

Posted at 17:18 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (7304)

Comments: Add Comment

1. Great stuff keep at it. These fuckers need to be exposed for what they are.
Bill Blackmon :: Wed, 2003/07/02, 06:23

2. I love the purposefully intentional bad grammar, "Which is why I wrote you". Great trolling, Dave!
Jimmie Dimmick :: Wed, 2003/07/02, 11:29

3. pussy - you're not including email addresses so we can join in the fun. You're a pussy who can't take the heat.

pussy.
hi :: Wed, 2003/07/02, 12:29

4. Keep up the good work, pal! Employers are sowing the wind...they will reap the whirlwind when things pick up again. I hope you find something good. :)
Big Bubba :: Wed, 2003/07/02, 12:35

5. Why is he a pussy? He's copying the text from yahoo mail, so on replies it only has the person's display name.

I think this page is awesome...
robby :: Thu, 2003/07/03, 12:49

6. You know, this could have been funny -- IF you'd written letters that actually made you seem like a real potential employee, not just a self-interested asshole -- and IF you'd gotten rude responses to those letters in earnest -- but all I see here is reponses that indicate that they're not interested in hiring somebody who merely asks what the job can do for him. Duh! I'm a pretty good employer (I have an assistant), and I get a lot of resumes and cover letters. Is it really that outrageous that no one wants to hire a guy who "sells" himself by asking about perks and vacation pay? Duh again.
Amy Alkon :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 09:59

7. To the previous poster: The whole purpose of this site is to expose the rudeness and hostility that employers such as yourself display toward candidates -- even those who are more than qualified to do what the job requirements state (rudeness and hostility is actually an understatement -- you're attitude is one of malice). Basically, it's all to get a rise out of people, and who knows? One day we could be targeting you and annoying the hell out of you, so if you don't want this person to waste his time by emailing you about perks and vacation, don't waste ours by posting phony job ads.
Joe :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 10:59

8. I don't have time to paste phony job ads -- nor would I if I did have the time. What I do in my spare time is "pranks" that really hit on people doing something wrong -- like driving huge, environment-sucking, other-endangering SUVs. http://www.advicegoddess.com/suv.html -- The thing is, when you do a prank like this, you have to come from moral high ground, or it's worthless and not funny. If this guy had written sincere job letters and gotten rude replies, well, that's a different story. But of all the people who write me, explaining why they'd fit in (and part of the job here is that I try to help them with their own writing, so that's part of it, too -- that they'd get more out of it than a paycheck) -- if I got a letter from somebody who just wanted to know about vacation time and perks, well, I wouldn't be clamoring to hire them, either. And about "people like me," you know nothing about me, turd-let. I could have somebody work for me for free, because I do something cool for a living. But I don't think that's ethical, so I pay my assistant as much as I can, buy her lunch on the days she's here, and give her gas money. And I'm a middle class newspaper columnist, not some big, rich, corporation. Let's see real rudeness from an employer who gets a job letter in earnest, that's interested. The stuff here is just evidence that the guy who's done it doesn't understand what it takes to create a humorous prank.
Amy Alkon :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 18:32

9. "interesting," not "interested." Typing fast because I try not to spend too much time debating idiots.
Amy Alkon :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 18:33

10. Don't worry -- nobody may know anything about you, but your astounding arrogance and stupidity speaks for itself. Good day.
Joe :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 20:37

11. "they're not interested in hiring somebody who merely asks what the job can do for him"

Since most job-ads are only about what the emplyee can do for the employer, then I guess the responses have an equal right to be merely about what the employer can do for the employee.
Paavo Parkkinen :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 01:29

12. Holy *shit* Amy. The fact that you've got an ASSISTANT really gets yer pussy wet, doesn't it?

WTF is a turd-let, incidentally?

*shaking head*
ohfreak :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 03:30

13. Wow Amy! You actually buy your minions lunch? You ARE special. And you train them to write too! Hot damn! I bet when you're done with 'em, they write gooder than Dave and his unfunny emails here. Speaking of which, you even take time out of your busy day of lunch buying and assistant empowering to edumacate us lowly masses who actually thought this was a funny blog. Joisus! I guess your shit don't stink after all.
foog :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 15:09

14. "Oh PISS-boyyyyy...."
- Spoken by Mel Brooks playing Louis the XIV, in Mel Brooks' "History of the World."
J Ball :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 05:29

15. Hi, great stuff. Just realise it's your (US) system that sucks. Your laws let your employers be complete assholes. And of course they are. You need to be protected. Go do something about it, go fire George Bush. Vote for a real person, for a change. Save the world that way too, on the side.
And please someone kill Amy, I give you a few hundred dollars. You may consider this a real job offer!
Jeronimus Funk :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 06:51

16. geeze, be careful Amy doesn't torch your SUV, she's a barrel o' laughs!
mass transit :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 11:52

17. Great site. These pompous assholes who post comments about how you are not serious in the jobs, just don't get it and are probably bosses themselves who are anti-worker. It's about time someone expose these office nazi's for what the are. And what are they, some might ask? They are people with no moral,ethics and have an IQ equal to that of jackass. Keep up the good work.
Big T :: Mon, 2003/07/07, 20:17

18. Amy Alkon (poster #6), thanks for giving us a link so we can see how very funny you are. And the great advice on how to be funny! You are a super-hilarious woman, and I'm sure you are tons funnier than Dave -- but honestly, if you were, would you lecture him about it?
joe fodor :: Thu, 2003/07/10, 14:25

19. <sarc>Oh Amy, how terribly droll your humorous pranks are.
And your middle class newspaper column is chock full o' righteous, morally superior, hi-frickin'-larity.
Kudos to you madam, kudos!</sarc>
snikrepkire :: Wed, 2003/10/08, 09:30

20. Yo! Amy, If I want to drive a huge, environment-sucking, other-endangering(?) SUV and I can afford the payments and fuel, It's none of you or you enviro-nazi buddies business, so fuck off and stick to the topic, you socialist bitch.
Palomar Jack :: Sun, 2003/11/30, 23:57

Dave applies for a recruiter position
(read from bottom)

Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 15:11:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Dave Suthibut" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: RE: Entry level recruiter
To: "Tom Tanner"

Hi Tom,

Thanks for getting back to me, hope we're not off to a
bad start. Email can sometimes get misunderstood, it's
hard to really see what a person is like. So how about
I come in for an in-person interview? I've got a lot
of experience and a proven track record. So I guess
the ball's in your court.. let me know.

Thanks
Dave

--- Tom Tanner wrote:
> I got to tell you, this in my opinion is not really
> the best way to call
> about a job. Good luck with your future.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dave Suthibut
> [mailto:digitalpirate2001@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 2:51 PM
> To: Tom Tanner
> Subject: Entry level recruiter
>
> Hey, saw the job on craigslist, and it piqued
> my interest. How much does it pay? Also didn't see
> anything about vacation days and other perqs -- just
> the standard (and in my opinion, overly coy)
> "competitive compensation"-type
> description. So, I'm wondering: How much does the
> job
> pay, and how many vacation days do I get?
>
> If you could get back to me ASAP with that info,
> we'll
> take it from there.
>
> Dave
>

Posted at 17:17 by soul_yawn :: Archived :: TrackBack (7264)

Comments: Add Comment

1. Amy Alkon,
I totally agree with you. To think that potential employees might have the unmitigated audacity to ask about issues like vacation time that most concerns them in a job! They should be in ignorance of vacations and perks so that their boss is better situated to demand head.
Christopher Shawz :: Fri, 2003/07/04, 19:21

2. Very funny Chris. Now shut the hell up and get in here. I have a *special* assignment for you again.
the boss :: Sat, 2003/07/05, 13:17

3. Dave, you didn't read that the requirements insisted upon a disorganized pathological liar with an IQ below 60, a nonexistent sense of ethics, and absolutely no shame in lying to anyone and everyone to get that commission. Since you have a sense of humor and the ability to type coherent letters, you're obviously overqualified for the position. Besides, you don't have the prerequisite Business Management degree and a complete ignorance of industry terms.
Paul :: Sun, 2003/07/06, 16:43

4. May I suggest the use of the prefix "I am a toothless lesbian midget crack whore looking for..." to all job applications for that extra oomph : )

Keep up he good work Dave
antoan :: Thu, 2003/11/20, 12:52

5. Huh. I agree with that Amy chick. A lot of anger not a lot of funny. I hope it makes you feel better about losing your job and being unable to find another one that satisfies you cause it sure as fuck isn't going to do much else for you.
sporktine :: Fri, 2004/02/06, 13:55

6. Dave please, if you want a recruiter job please make sure that you tell the prospective employer the most salient detail. That is, tell them that you know absolutely nothing about virtually any industry, but you have practiced saying, "Where do you see yourself in the next five years?" over and over again in front of the mirror and are thus unequivocally ready to be a recruiter extraordinaire.
mapleleaf :: Mon, 2004/11/01, 13:31

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